No one in our family calls Uncle Junior a liar. That would be mean.

Instead, what we say is, “That Uncle Junior, he sure can stretch the truth.”

Now and then, at hunting camp, folks like to tell stories about deer they shot or big, BIG ones they saw. It is part of the fun. And no one has more fun at those times than Uncle Junior.

Why did you know that one time he saw a buck so big it had to carry a saw around just to cut a path through the trees to fit his antlers through?

And did you know that another time, he saw a buck a mile away with his bare eyes, and made the shot just perfectly with his trusty .270 rifle? Yup. He did. So he says.

The fact is, deer hunting is full of strange stories that are true. For example, a Manitoba hunter once found the bodies of two huge deer at the bottom of his pond. Their antlers were locked together.

They had been fighting – clicking and clashing their antlers together the way bucks will do. But while they were fighting, their antlers got tangled up and locked together. The deer were so busy fighting that they did not realize that the frozen pond they were on had thin ice.

The ice broke under the weight of the two powerful bucks, and they sank, locked up, to the bottom of the water where they died.

Did you know bucks will follow a doe for days, not eating or drinking, during the rut? They are so intent on tending her – keeping her company – that they will lose weight and not even notice?

A buck that weighs 200 pounds in the fall, before the mating season, might weigh 180 pounds when the rut is over. He might lose 20 or more pounds from running after does and not caring to eat.

One time, Uncle Junior and Cousin Purvis were hunting in some piney woods. They swear on their biscuits and gravy that this story is true.

Both were hungry. They had no meat at home, and the refrigerator was empty. They were very eager to shoot some bucks to feed the family.

Uncle Junior sat down to rest awhile. Purvis had a little more energy. He kept walking until he realized he was lost. You know how the forest can be. All those trees look kind of the same.

First he turned one way.

Then he turned another.

He hollered so loud all the birds flew away.

He whistled so loud that all the leaves and needles fell off the trees.

He blew on his grunt call so loud and long that three big bucks came running to see what all the fuss was about. They looked big and meaty.

“What are you doing, silly human?” asked the biggest buck.

“I’m lost,” cried Cousin Purvis. “I cannot find my way back to where Uncle Junior is sleeping.”

“Is he the one who snores loudly and smells like onions and dirty socks?” asked the second buck.

“No need to insult my uncle, but yes, that is him.”

“We will take you to him since you have no sense of direction of your own,” said the third buck, in a superior tone of voice.

The three deer turned and led the way back to where Uncle Junior was snoring on the ground with his back against a tree. Cousin Purvis could hear the deer laughing and making jokes about “silly humans”.

They trotted between the trees, confident that they were safe. Their hooves crunched over fallen leaves and pine cones. They made snapping, crackling and popping noises as they walked.

What the deer did not know was that Uncle Junior was a very light sleeper. Any little noise would wake him up.

He was wide awake and ready when the three deer came into view. His trusty rifle was at his shoulder; his beady eyes were focused on the three bucks. His bony finger was on the trigger.

“Pow! kachink! Pow! kachink! POW!” went the rifle as it fired and reloaded three times.

The three big, meaty bucks fell in a row, right where they had been standing. And a safe distance away, Purvis was ready to shoot, too, in case any of them got back up.

Purvis and Uncle Junior field-dressed those bucks, cut them into quarters and hauled them home as fast as their smelly feet could carry them. As you can imagine, there was plenty of food for the family that winter.

Of course, Uncle Junior tries to take all the credit for the amazing hunt when he tells this story, and he leaves out the part where Cousin Purvis got the deer to help him, in the first place.

“Purvis, you are so full of baloney,” says Uncle Junior, when Purvis tries to tell the story his way. “Whoever heard of talking deer?” Uncle Junior yells.

“I do not know where you get the talent for stretching the truth the way you do. Talking deer, indeed! Whoever heard of such?”

--Gita M. Smith